G’s educational evaluation will be happening in May. Today I made the call to start the ball rolling on his medical evaluation.
I feel nauseous.
Disregulation
G and I flew to Denver last weekend to visit my sister. This was a long planned trip, we had it on the calendar so G and I could count down the days. He loves airplanes and flying and was really looking forward to it. Unfortunately, the three days preceding the trip he had a bad cold and we kept him home from school. This meant he was already off his routine and taking the trip threw him waaaaaay off.
We were gone from Friday to Monday. Friday he was great, listened very well in the airport and was perfect getting through security. He was very engaging and talked with his Aunt and Uncle very well. Saturday was pretty good too, but I noticed he was having a harder time listening. If I asked him something he would say, “What did you say?” a bazillion times. I would get his full attention and he would be looking right at my mouth, and still ask me to repeat myself. It was as if he couldn’t get the meaning of words to click in his brain.
Sunday, we had planned to drive to my grandparents house to visit and have lunch. I should mention that G is a very good eater and because of that is extremely good in restaurants. I put into practice all of the positive behavior tips I have been learning the past few weeks. We discussed the three rules for the trip and the restaurant. We stopped and bought two new leapad games, one for the hour drive up and one that he would get on the ride back as a reward for following his rules. I made sure he had a couple small snacks on the ride up so he wouldn’t be ravenous before we could get to lunch. He did ok at my grandparents house but was ready to eat. But when we got to the restaurant he started to break down. I did everything I could to turn it around, using encouraging words, being firm about what was expected (he is into rules and this often helps), and enticing him with the food he could eat if he sat down. He was spiraling and there was nothing I could do to turn it around. The poor kid was huddling on the floor between the table and the wall just wailing. So I got him out of the restaurant and we waited in the car while everyone else ate their lunch. He escalated to shrieking while in the car but finally shut down and fell asleep. I’d like to say he was just tired but he woke up in the same state of mind and the rest of the day didn’t get any better.
The next day we went back to the airport to head home. I was extremely nervous about how it would go this time, and got to the airport an entire hour earlier than I normally would to make sure I wouldn’t have to rush G at all. And he did so well! He still had some trouble comprehending what I was asking of him, but when he did understand he complied. I was worried that the hustle would overwhelm him but he was a golden child in the security lines. Everything was great until we got on the plane. G knew that I was in seat 3A and he was in seat 3C. (small plane with one seat on each side of the aisle) He would repeat this to himself throughout the morning and it seemed to be something that helped center him. However, when we got on the plane, someone was already sitting in seat 3A. The airline assigned two people to the same seat.
I politely asked the man if we could please have the seat and he suggested we grab one of the other available rows. I don’t blame him, I would have done the same. But there was no way G was going to tolerate moving to another row. At this point G started saying, “Excuse me! My mommy supposed to sit in 3A.” I’m quite proud that he used his polite words to interrupt our conversation, btw. He continued to repeat this a little louder each time and I very politely asked if the man would please mind using one of the available seats instead so I could sit across from my son. I think he started to understand why I was asking, as G was now yelling, “EXCUSE ME!! MY MOMMY SUPPOSED TO SIT IN 3A!!!!” The man very graciously moved to another seat, I got settled, and we had a very smooth flight home. I’ve never been quite so happy to see a vacation end.
The King
I don’t believe vaccines cause autism. I’ve read the studies presented by both sides of the argument and feel firm in my convictions. I don’t believe there is an autism epidemic. I believe the increase in diagnosed cases can be attributed to better awareness and screening on the part of the pediatrician, and the addition of disorders like aspergers to the spectrum.
I watched the end of Larry King tonight and feel very irritated. In total fairness, let me stress that I did not see the entire program, I only caught the end. He had two pediatricians on who wanted to make the case that vaccines or the vaccine schedule cause autism based on the recent concession of the vaccine court in the case of Hannah Poling. He had Dr Sanjay Gupta on as well, presumably to present the opposing side, but ran out of time before getting to him.
My point is not to rant about Larry King, really. But I’m upset at the implication the show has for parents. I feel as if the program and the ‘experts’ are saying that if parents only took the time to educate themselves, they would see the damage they are inflicting on their child by vaccinating. That parents who choose to vaccinate are mindless sheep following the directions of “big government” because we lack the will to think for ourselves. I feel like this once again shifts blame to parents for not learning more and doing more.
That is far from who I am. I think and learn and do – all day, every day. I read the news reports on both sides of the issue, then I go further and read the actual study so I can see the evidence for myself. I do not find the argument that vaccines or the vaccine schedule cause autism to be persuasive. I understand the parents that rush to Dr Google upon getting a diagnosis to read up on everything they can. I am that parent too, but I reached a different conclusion. I don’t need anyone to blame – it is what it is. But I refuse to accept blame for not learning enough. Especially when that actually means accepting blame for not agreeing enough.
