Sleepover Season

G just came home from a 2 night sleepover at his Nana’s.  The rest of the day has been simply fantastic.  We picked him up and took him to lunch and have been laughing all day.  Holidays are stressful for everyone and sometimes no matter how much you love someone, you also need a break from them.  I think G needed that kind of break from us.  I know I appreciate him more after missing him for a day, I expect it is the same for him.

And tomorrow dh and I are going to a New Years Eve party so G will have a sleepover at his Grams house.  G can’t wait!

Grandmothers are wonderful.

Circular Conversations

G:  Blah!  My shirt has a yucky flavor, it tastes like soap.

Me:  You must not have pulled up your sleeves when you washed your hands.  And you shouldn’t be chewing on your shirt anyway.

G:  But I like to chew my shirt.  [chews sleeve again]  Blah!  It tastes yucky.

Me:   There’s soap on it.  Don’t eat your shirt.

G:  But I really want to chew my shirt.  Blah!  Taste’s like soap!

Me:  G, don’t… [sigh] nevermind.  You’re going to have to work this out for yourself.

Holiday Hoopla

G has been out of school since Thursday of last week and I feel like we’re falling apart at the seams.  Even though we have a routine it’s all catching up with him.  He is imposing order by disagreeing with and correcting the tiniest details, repeating himself over and over until he’s acknowledged in the proper way at the proper time.  So he cannot be interrupted or even answered too quickly or he will repeat himself again.

He is also extremely emotional right now.  We think (but it’s just a theory) that the excitement and surprise of christmas gift-giving is triggering anxiety.  He really wanted to tell DH what he was getting for Christmas today.  DH stopped him and we tried to explain that it wouldn’t be fun if we told G what G was getting, so G shouldn’t tell DH what DH was getting because there wouldn’t be any surprise and that would be boring.  G burst into tears and proclaimed that he wanted a boring christmas and he wanted everyone else to have a boring christmas too.  It took quite awhile to get him calmed down and he remained very touchy the rest of the day.

10 days until January 2nd.  I can do this.  I am patient, I am strong.  10 more days…

My Angel

Today was the first day of ski-pe.  I was as ready as I could be with everything labeled and packed the night before.  And yet, I was unprepared for the chaos of 30+ kindergarten parents trying to figure out how to drop their kids off for ski-pe.  It’s days like today where I am convinced G’s sensory/autism issues were passed down genetically.  I was overwhelmed and seconds away from throwing myself to the floor in full meltdown mode just like G does when G’s special ed teacher walked by.  She asked how I was doing and all I could say was, “I am so overwhelmed!”  She took both my hands and calmly said, “You’ll get through this, you’re doing just fine.  You can do it.”  And then she disappeared into the crowd.

I did feel much calmer.  I felt focused again.  I was able to finish up jamming G into his ski-boots, getting his heat packs tucked into his gloves, making sure his goggles were attached to his helmet properly and in line for equipment check.  I can’t explain it except to say it was a magical moment for me.

G, by the way, did great.  He was so amped to go skiing today.  He’d greet all his friends excitedly, “Hi L!  It’s ski-pe day!  Are you going skiing too?”  L was decked out from helmet to boots in ski gear, making this a redundant question, but was just as excited about ski day.  It was very cute.  G is participating through the adaptive program again and has the same teacher and assistant as last year.  As long as I can make it through drop-off each week, he’ll be in fabulous hands and have a great time.

I Rock!

We had G’s best friend from school over for a playdate today.  Let me pause a minute to remark on how completely fabulous it is that G has a best friend!! 

Playdates are something we’ve been tasked with as the parents by ‘the team’ and have been coached extensively on how to structure activities to teach G how to be friends with peers.  Setting up playdates is particularly hard for me as I tend to be introverted and we are new to this town.  It usually takes a couple of beers before I feel comfortable chatting with people I don’t know.  Since school drop-off/pick-up is an inappropriate place to show up tipsy (darn it) it’s been difficult for me to approach mom’s to set up after school play times.  I’ve made myself do it for G’s sake, but we average 1 playdate per month and not all of those are at our house where I can work toward teaching G about relationships.

Which makes today simply awesome.  G’s friend was here for about 4 hours – his siblings had hockey games today so this actually helped his mom out as well.  They free-played for a little while and then I set up a scavenger hunt around the house where the boys had to work out the clues and run to find the next clue.  After running, I calmed them down with a couple different board games (“I Spy Eagle Eye” is a pretty neat game for teaching kids with visual processing difficulties how to find things if you need a holiday gift idea) and a game of catch before lunch.  After lunch, I got them outside for an hour of sledding and running.  Then we came inside for a little W.ii before we shifted gears again and worked as a team to build a marble track.  When the boy’s mother came to pick him up the they were swinging and giggling like monkeys on G’s therapy swing.

G did an amazing job today.  He was engaged and reasonably interested in what his friend had to say and and participated in activities suggested by the other boy instead of controlling every situation to the max.  He had a couple minor escalations that actually worked out to be teachable moments.  For example, during the game of catch he got over-excited and started throwing the ball wildly around the room and was lauging because he thought it was funny.  His friend was frustrated because there was no way he could catch anything.  So I was able to point out his friends feelings and coach G on cooperation.  No way to know what sunk in until later, but I have a feeling it made an impact in a way that playing with his parents on the weekends doesn’t.

Days like this make me feel good.  It makes me feel like I might know what I’m doing as a parent after all.  And in the world of autism, you never know what tomorrow will bring.  It is important to hold on to the good moments and celebrate every success.