Grief comes in waves

Today was the big day, we took G for the ADOS evaluation and my husband and I sat for the adi-r.  Scoring indicates G is on the autism spectrum.  A formal report will follow.

This is what I wanted.  We have an answer that tells us we are on the right track as far as understanding G’s needs.  This is by no means a surprise to either of us and we were fully prepared to hear that G has an autism spectrum disorder.  And yet, I’m heartbroken.  This is my baby we’re talking about.  My baby has autism.

Published in: on September 27, 2008 at 3:04 am  Comments (4)  

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. there are a lot of us here for you when you need us.

    hugs and love

  2. “D” day, or “Diagnosis Day” is a tough one. From here, you have the tools to move onwards and help your son the most. You love him, that’s all you need. There’s a lot of us out here for support, you’re not alone.

  3. Thank you both for your hugs and support. I really needed it. It is so great to know there is a community to turn to who can understand and help.

  4. Oh my gosh, this gave me chills because it was so familiar, is SO much like a post I did last month when P got his diagnosis.
    I wrote “We stopped at a fast-food place to get some food… While I was inside ordering food I stared at everyone’s faces. They all seemed so happy, so content with their lives, so oblivious to the world around them. I felt like I was carrying this burden, this secret, that separated me from everyone else in the room. Inside I was saying to them, “My child has Autism.” “Did you know my child is Autistic?” Those words still felt foreign to me, and I was struggling to incorporate this new truth into my reality.”

    I know this is a hard time. I am still adjusting. I will pray for you! You don’t have to be alone in this.
    I don’t normally self-plug, but I thought it might make you feel better to read someone with a similar reaction.

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