Writers Block

I feel a bit frozen.  It’s hard for me to come up with topics to write about right now.  Part of it is that G has started summer break and we’re having an unscheduled couple of weeks before his first activity begins so time has been short. 

The larger part is that I’ve been worrying that I make too big a deal of G’s autism.   I had an encounter with another mom of an autistic boy in G’s grade.  I was pretty excited to meet her because we see each other at school events often and I thought it would be great to know each other.  We chatted for a few moments and started comparing notes, and I told her that G has Aspergers.  Her attitude quickly changed.  She asked me if that was formally diagnosed and I told her no, we didn’t have a medical diagnosis because we’re concerned for our insurance coverage, but we’d gotten the ADOS and GADS done by the school district’s autism specialist and were confident Aspergers was correct.  She replied that her son was autistic (the stress on the word was hers) and walked away soon after.

I was pretty crushed.  We still don’t know a lot of people in our town and I was really looking forward to this introduction.  Now I’m second guessing everything I said to figure out if/how I offended her.  Did she think I was trying to downplay autism and not accept that my son is autistic by saying he has Aspergers?  Or did she think that I was making too big a deal of my son being ‘special needs’ and not understanding what classic autism is?  Like I will never understand what she’s going through?  

And I find myself wondering if I really belong in the communities I’m trying to join.  Maybe the special needs parent group in the next town isn’t the right fit for me.  G really is doing quite well, maybe I should not join and leave room for someone with more severe needs for support.  Maybe my bloging is more whining and an exercise in martyrdom and is better left alone. 

I’m not looking for strokes with this post.   I really am just trying to work through my thoughts.  I’m feeling incredibly insecure lately and am trying to figure out how to advocate for G without overplaying my hand and looking like I’m seeking pity and attention for myself.

Published in: on June 24, 2009 at 11:48 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Why don’t to try to speak to the lady again? See how she reacts to your approach if she is a little off with you ask her directly if you’ve offended her in anyway as you would like to be friends as you have a lot in common because of both your sons having difficulties. It is nothing to be ashamed of. If she won’t play ball then move and you will find someone esle to help you. My son B has aspergers and was diagnosed in 2001 when he was 6 years old. Good luck.

  2. Lynne- can you email me your email addy? I have some thoughts on this. It’s a tough situation that I also have encountered.
    btw, hey… long time no blog. I’m not dead.

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