Stuck

G’s almost completed his first week back to school after the holidays and is doing remarkably well.  He’s been really well behaved during the day and then has had a couple of wicked meltdowns immediately following school, in the car one time and right after he got home another time.  I think it is too early to tell if this will be the way of things now but I’m hopeful, as I see this as a sign of tremendous progress.  He’s learning how to manage his frustration, even if he has to blow his top as soon as it’s safe.  I spent some time over the holidays re-reading my blog from the beginning and it helped me realize just how far G has come.

However, there was one seemingly minor incident yesterday that has me reeling.  Before the break, the team was working toward transitioning G back to the general recess.  They did this by increasing the number of students accompanying him to his private recess each week and by phasing out the special activities he was allowed to do in favor of the activities allowed at the general recess.  This week he has attended the general recess and has refrained from hitting or getting physical. 

Yesterday, and I don’t have much detail on this so I’m not being deliberately sketchy, there were a couple of boys teasing G and getting him to fetch things for them.  It escalated a bit until G stood up for himself (thank goodness) and adults stepped in.  The other boys were reprimanded.  G’s teacher found out about the incident and discovered one of the boys involved is in her class.  She told DH, “The other boys may not yet understand how wrong that was but this boy should have known better.”  So while G was in the resource room for his regularly scheduled writing help, she had a discussion with the class.  She had them each say something they liked about G and reported the kids said things like, “he’s so sweet,” and “he’s brilliant.”  Then she reminded them that G has trouble understanding what’s going on when he’s on the playground and that as his classmates, she expected them to look out for him.

There are many positive aspects in this situation.  However, much to my husband’s confusion, I find I am stuck on the negative.  I hate that it is so hard for G to navigate the playground.  I hate that we have to work so hard to teach social skills while other kids are mean little monsters.  I hate that it is so easy for them to take advantage of G.  I hate that it is so hard for G to hold it together and not hit other kids.  I hate that his classmates have to be reminded that G is special.  I hate that they have to be told to look out for him and don’t think to do that instinctively.  I hate that G needs looking out for. 

I’m stuck in a negative cycle right now.  For me, the only way to pull out of it is to be really honest and really acknowledge the what I feel.   And I really feel this sucks.

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Published in: on January 8, 2010 at 10:37 am  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I hate, hate, hate the playground. It’s the worst place there is. I posted awhile back (and never followed through on an update) on a new program we’re starting at our school which was developed by an excellent autism research/resource center here in Phoenix. I’m not sure if there’s any info on their website, but if you google the Southwest Autism Research and Resource Center and navigate your way to the Friend program, there might be some info. It’s amazing how much it helps these kids. We’re just kicking it off here, but I’d love to tell you more about it. Let me know if you can’t find anything on it and I’ll give you some detail. It might be helpful.

  2. And if I have an email from you months ago in which I promised I would send you more info, forgive me please…I will get it to you this time, I promise! 🙂

    • I would love to hear more about the Friend program and your perspective on how it is working for C. I’ll be sure to look for the Southwest Autism Research Center too – thanks for the ideas!


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